Reflections on the past few weeks – part II
Another lightbulb moment came to me on New Year’s Eve (comme quoi, tout peut arriver hein) as I was laying in my pyjama in bed by like half past midnight (and happy to be so…)
I’m not sure why (a hightenned sense of honour? a fear of breaking the rules? a need for validation?) but so far I have been leading my life attempting to respect a certain set of principles, or ethics that, incidently, noone else seems to give a shit about. These principles can be for example: always reply to the emails people send you (today it’s not so much a problem than when I was an agent dealing with lots of strangers contacting me with various motives), or be loyal to friends, or make time for people even if you want to be alone or be kind / be generous / smile / make people feel valued / listen to people’s bullshit even if you want to scream inside, don’t get angry, don’t tell the truth if it hurts people and the list goes on…
And you know what? Respecting these rules hasn’t brought me anything – or maybe just more hassle and stress. I’m not more loved, more popular or happier than the next man who doesn’t bother with these. Oh and people take revenge on favours you’ve done to them, as life has more than once proven to me. Being kind or smily or helpful only make people respect you less (!) since it makes you come accross as a pushover. And I don’t have more friends or respect or success because of this weird “code of honour” I’m trying to stick to…
So what now? Why would I try to act with ethics when nobody else is? Does that only make me a dick?
Why not just do what makes me happy?
I think your ethic code, which is also mine, is a great thing. All around us, there are lies, manipulation, anger, jealousy, we must have an ethic bubble.
You always says to me that I must do things for me, and for me only, or at least, for me first. The code must live for himself, because it’s such a relief to use it and to go to bed at night with the sentiment of have been a “good boy”.
And for those who don’t have our code, you always tell me I can’t/mustn’t change people’s behavior, it’s a waste of time, or if it works it won’t be for long (of course there are exceptions).
And you always tell me to be around peoples who gives a shit about me, even if they don’t have my code. I think we must have a margin of tolerance: the code mustn’t enjailed us. It’s only a guidance.
And again.
The problem with the Code is that you can’t exactly tell people about it, or with talent, because you would pass for a “know-it-all” a “party popper”.
if the code just feels the ego of self importance than why bother with the code. but if the code is a means of be true to oneself without expecting a return on the act, then it’s worth sticking to.