Autumn has finally landed in Petersburg after so many mild and sunny days. It’s starting to get chilly out there and darker earlier. The heating can’t be switched on until the government decides it’s time to, so it does get a little cold inside the flat in the evenings. Just an excuse to wear big fluffy jumpers and thick socks in bed, I guess. So cosy!

I don’t think I could have chosen a better time of year to be here.

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Я, сегодня.

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Putin is being cirticized left, right and center in the western world but I read that in order to restore Russia’s prosperity he had chosen to put order before freedom.

Considering the dreadful state in which Russia was when he inheritated it from Yeltsin: the financial mess, the creeping corruption, the transitional hardcore capitalism, it kind of makes sense. After chaos, you must install stability. And Russia has had its fair share of chaos, don’t you think?

What good is freedom when you don’t have a roof over your head, a job, medicines for your children or when your currency is being devaluated 100 fold every other month?

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For some reason I’ve been thinking about my grand-father Bernard a lot recently. He’s the only one of my grand-parents who left behind tokens of affection for me.

He did a lot of super 8 films of me when I was 2-3 years old and I have a postcard he sent me when I was little. He died when I was three so I barely knew him but there is a general tenderness around my memories of him. His nickname was Big Boss, which makes me smile. I wonder what he would say if he knew that I was in Russia? And that I’m living this amazing life, thanks to my parents and also somewhat, him.

I’m trying to do them proud, by being fierce, free and also happy.

picture by my Dad

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This amazing cover of Tuxedo Moon by Martin L. Gore is my current St Petersburg soundtrack.

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I have never been a very sporty person (what?! no way!?) but there is something I love more than anything and that’s walking. I have been walking everywhere here; isn’t that the best way to discover a city?

I have spent many an afternoon walking around, listening to my i-pod and taking pictures. A cherished activity I share with my friend Emilie (Hi Emilie!)  I feel good, energised, young and full of strength – and I get to think an awful lot. My thoughts seem deeper, better, more focused. Usually I can walk for 3 or 4 hours but I have a problem with my right ankle (flat feet make my ankle overcompensate) that for now forbids me to walk much longer than that.

But that works perfectly with a studious schedule: half a day studying and half a day using my body.

Nietzsche:  “Only those thoughts that come by walking have any value.” *

* which is one of the reasons why Buddhism is a nihilism

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Yesterday I went to see Vladimir Nabokov’s house on Большая Морская, 47.

Nabokov was born in this house in 1899 and stayed there until his family had to flee the revolution in 1917. This is the only house he ever called his, as after fleeing, he never really settled anywhere else and wherever he lived (Berlin, Cambridge, France, Massachussets, Switzerland) he always just rented.

Belonging to the St Petersburg bourgeoisie, his parents were very well off and this beautiful 3 storey house with rooms displaying sophisticated wood work reflect that. He was the elder of four children and his dad was a liberal activist who was sitting at the first Douma parliament session.

The thing that always mystifies me is the fact that Nabokov wrote masterpiece Lolita in english which was not his mother tongue. How can someone excell in a foreign language that much as to create work of that calibre, work that pushes the boundaries of litterature, work that challenges it both morally and aesthetically?

As you walk through the rooms where young Vladimir’s english and french governesses used to teach him, it all becomes clear. With their input, Nabokov could write in english before he could in russian and was trilingual at the age of 7.

Besides his literary work, Nabokov was a keen entomologist and collected butterflies he would catch himself on numerous trips around the world. His passion for entomology would radiate accross his life and work and on occasion, mainly as gifts for his wife Vera, he would make beautiful made-up specie drawings on personnal copies of his books.

It’s experiences like these which reinforce in me the idea of home schooling children, which my friend James has gone for.

I simply don’t understand why the incredible potential of children is not being used more. Kids learn languages effortlessly and should be exposed to them very early on. Nabokov also had a drawing teacher – how cool is that?

Children should definitely be exposed to languages, drawing but also poetry, music, different instruments, wood carving, pottery making, painting… you name it. I have an admiration for the type of education Oscar Wilde was given, for example. Greek and latin as the basics of any serious litterary knowledge.

To me the real luxury at age 33 is to be able to continue educating myself.  Actively seeking new knowledge, deeper understanding, exploring new territories. Our decadent and morbid social environment keeps enforcing the idea that learning and working are interconnected and that it’s our future work that dictates what is relevant for us to know or not know. Study what is useful, profesionnally purposeful – claims the mainstream. What about the beauty of knowledge, the wonder of one’s abilities and the ambition of becoming a more perfected human being through the understanding of the world, its history and people? What about poetry?

You can’t always link education to a money making aftermath. Education has value in itself, as it’s what makes you a man. That ideology and today’s public school could never produce the Nabokovs, the Oscar Wildes, the Nietzsches. Human sciences, like art, have an element of uselessness.

Russian culture with its “Духовная жизнь” and its obsession for poetry, together with this wonderful city, very much like Rome or Florence, inspire me a taste for excellence, for doing more, knowing more, being more.

 

“A work of art is useless as a flower is useless. A flower blossoms for its own joy. We gain a moment of joy by looking at it.”

– Oscar Wilde.

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Superb weather today.

After my class my housemate Shubah took me to restaurant Bellevue – which, as its name suggests it, has wide views of the city. We had a delicious lunch (bortsch and lobster ravioli was involved), then had a long walk around the Moika canal and Nevski Propspect enjoying a beautifully mild autumn day. I almost felt like I belonged here…

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I’m so in love with this song

Орлёнок, орлёнок, взлети выше солнца
И степи с высот огляди.
Навеки умолкли весёлые хлопцы,
В живых я остался один.

Орлёнок, орлёнок, блесни опереньем,
Собою затми белый свет.
Не хочется думать о смерти, поверь мне,
В шестнадцать мальчишеских лет.

Орлёнок, орлёнок, гремучей гранатой
От сопки солдат отмело.
Меня называли орлёнком в отряде,
Враги называли орлом.

Орлёнок, орлёнок, мой верный товарищ,
Ты видишь, что я уцелел.
Лети на станицу, родимой расскажешь,
Как сына вели на расстрел.

Орлёнок, орлёнок, товарищ крылатый,
Ковыльные степи в огне.
На помощь спешат комсомольцы-орлята
И жизнь возвратится ко мне.

Орлёнок, орлёнок, идут эшелоны,
Победа борьбой решена.
У власти орлиной орлят миллионы,
И нами гордится страна.

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Hello everyone! Happy 1st of October!

How are you? Have you had a great week-end? The weather here hasn’t been so good but I braved the rain and spent my days outside exploring some more. I’ve been trying to find thrift shops (Комиссионный Магазин) but only found a few small ones which were disappointing.

There really is a big difference between travelling around, constantly moving, going from one place to another, like Charlotte and I did this summer and staying in one place for a longer period of time. I’m starting to have my routine, coffee shops I like to go to, supermarket, bus routes etc… I really enjoy it that way as it’s how you start building emotionnal connections with a place.

Although I’ve been walking in the city quite a lot, I do however spend a huge amount of time studying, doing grammar exercises, reading and also watching TV programs in russian (revisiting the first season of Friends anyone?)

I would like to watch some modern russian films and listen to some russian pop music. So if anyone has suggestions, I’m a taker!

*update: I’ve been recommended by a girl in my class a band called Винтаж – apparently they are big in Japan (?!)

– my student card (how pretty!) and a drink called компот (“Compot”) made from fruits boiled in water (delicious!)

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